Well....It's Not ALL Good.....

here is a link to the audio version, in case you would rather listen to this blog:www.youtube.com/watch?v=LviWvJIYurU 

After a lifetime of research, and an acute attention to detail, I am now ready to state my astounding, but true observation. What I have discovered over the years is that not everybody likes to be surprised. Do you find that surprising? I remember the first time I came to this realization, just like it was yesterday, (actually it was last week). I remember thinking to myself that this certainly is a shocker, (you thought I was going to say surprise didn't you? You think you have me figured out, and in fact, I'd be surprised if you didn't think I'd say that). The thing is that there are different kinds of surprises, and it really doesn't take any stretch of the imagination to realize that the vast majority of us do not like a bad or unexpected and unwelcome surprise. My official diagnosis of Cerebellar Ataxia in two-thousand and three comes to mind as a particularly unpleasant surprise, for example.

On the flip side of the bad, or nasty surprise, is a pleasant surprise. Events that spring into your life that bring vast amounts of joy, feelings of warmth, friendship or love.  When, twenty-five years ago, my then-girlfriend said yes, or a few years later when I first learned that we were starting a family, I was overwhelmed. These were a few of the good surprises in my life, and are among other past events that I will always cherish.

Sometimes, however, the surprises start out as one type, but quickly fade into the other, say from good to bad. Such was the case a week ago when our van broke down as we were passing through the Oregon Coast Mountain Range, on our way home from the beach. The Highway we were traveling on was a very narrow, winding, and busy road, with only a few places that one can safely pull their vehicle off. Luckily, as soon as our car started to act up, we came upon a long and wide spot to pull over. The next problem we faced was that we were on a stretch of road through the mountains where there is absolutely no cell phone coverage, so we were entirely dependent on a passing motorist to stop and offer us some assistance. We turned on the emergency flashers and sent the universal message out to our fellow drivers that our car was broken down, by raising the hood. We also showed that we were desperate by walking around and waving our phones, in an attempt to obviously display that, "I don't have a signal over here, do you have one over there...ten feet away?".  What appeared to be a pleasant surprise came about five minutes after we broke down. A car began to signal that it was going to pull off the road next to us and offer help. With a feeling of relief, I walked towards the car that had indeed started to pull over. But when the car stopped thirty yards away, it became evident that they were not stopping for us, but for another reason, which had become apparent when a young man and woman came hurtling out of the car. The bikini-clad woman ran into the trees for privacy while she made her contribution to nature, but the man had no fancies for anonymity. He only ran a few feet, stopped where all the passing cars could see, and......well, it was not a pleasant surprise. They sped off afterward. On reflection, I don't know if they even realized that we were there. The funny thing was that they had just passed a rest stop about a mile back.

In my third blog, named Reflections On Reflexes, I talked about my cat-like reflexes. One year later, although I still have cat-like reflexes, the rest of the story is that, sure, they continue to be cat-like....but it's a cat that has gotten into some fermented catnip, has already burned through eight of its nine lives, and is halfway through the last one. It doesn't take much to make me jump, and I have been trying to anticipate and limit surprises in my life. You might also remember from one of my early blogs that motion activated paper towel dispensers in public restrooms, and I usually don't mix. I never know if I'm expected to dance in front of it to get the quality paper towel to come out? Is that why there is music being pumped into the bathroom? Well, anyway, the reason I mentioned my reflexes, and paper towel dispensers, is because of what recently happened to me. While at a restaurant, I went to use the facilities and found myself in a small narrow room with only a sink and a toilet. I didn't notice the towel dispenser on the wall between the sink and the toilet, until on my approach to the bowl, my passing shoulder activated it, resulting in a loud grinding sound. I jumped but was afraid to turn around lest I hear laughing and see a drill bit menacingly approach as it twisting through the door. I soon realized what was going on and all was good....that is until I washed my hands and tried to activate the dispersal of a towel. No amount of hand waving would make the box give up its paper prize, and so I had to resort to bobbing back and forth in front of the blessed machine so that my shoulder would activate it. Maybe if they would have had music being piped in?

But, despite my best efforts to eliminate the everyday surprises in my life, with ataxia along for the ride, most of the time the best that I can do is grab a railing with each hand and hang on.

Faced With An Empty Roll

Recently I wrote a blog, titled, Literally.....There Is More Than One Way,  in which I shared the thought that there are multiple ways to approach and execute, everyday tasks. Along with this is the idea that there are also certain subjects that deserve to be added to, or expanded upon. I believe that the discussion surrounding the topic of creativity and the adoption of everyday tasks, faced by those with a handicap, to be just such a subject. It also came to my attention, through the response from a reader of the last blog, that there are several other methods of writing that they are currently using. They are ones that I also find very helpful, and which I would like to share with you. I often use these other methods, thereby successfully avoiding the need to clutch a pen in a death-grip, while trying to scribble anything remotely legible. Something that minutely resembles having come from modern day civilization, and not what appears to be the crude etchings on a cave wall that could either be a massive group buffalo hunt, or the depiction of an Amway Convention.

However, before I continue with the various methods of writing that I will......write about, I would like to share with you an alternative way that I have learned to button my shirt. Like tying my shoes, some days are worse than others when it comes to trying to maintain my grip on a little button. It can take me three or seven tries sometimes because just before I push the little guy through the hole, he will slip out of my fingers. The hardest part of the whole process is just simply trying to maintain my grip long enough to shove the button through to the other side because the one thing that experience has shown to me is that once he's successfully through the hole and settled on the other side, he's not getting back. Not unless that button breaks the multiple loops of thread that are holding him down, or I grab him and shove him backward through the hole, which I am not going to do until the day is over.

Anyway, the button-tying method is called The Paperclip. The first step of this particular method is to select a paperclip. This is where your creativity can really shine as there are quite a few size and color possibilities and I have included a picture as an example of some of your options.

Lot's of options. Somehow a safety pin got in the picture....another option, sure....but not one that I would recommend.

After you have made your selection and chosen a paperclip that fits your style, the next step is to figure out how you would like to control it. By that, I mean that it is up to your wild imagination to either choose to mount it onto a handle or just bend it and use it in its natural state. Again, I have provided a picture as a guide. You will notice that one of the mounting suggestions is a Popsicle stick. This is my particular favorite, as the stick had to be obtained by first consuming the Popsicle that was wrapped around it. In this case, it was a Mixed Berry Fruit Pop. 

I will now proceed to show you the Paperclip Method with a series of four pictures to illustrate:

Step 1.  While holding the button with one hand, use the other hand to insert the paperclip of your choosing into the button hole and bring it close to the button.

Step 2.  Insert the button into the paperclip.

Step 3.  Pull the button back through the button hole while you gently but firmly guide it with your thumb. The pressure is now off of you to maintain your grip on the slippery little plastic disc, and you can breathe easier. One more step and you're done.

Step 4.  Lay the button flat and release the paperclip. Congratulations, you successfully buttoned a button, and there are only five or six more to go. Refer to step 1 if you need a reminder.

Like many small details in life, writing is a skill and a useful tool that most people don't think about. When they need it, the process just needs to be there, without forethought or effort. Writing is a lot like toilet paper in the regard that you really don't give it much thought. Variations of toilet paper do not consume your day, but when you need it, that paper had better be there. I find the need to write to be much the same as reaching out, only to find an empty paper tube. The skill is just not there when I call on it, and it can be very frustrating.

Once in awhile, I have a need to write a note. Usually, it is something along the lines of instructions, or a form of information that I want to leave for my kids. Since I do not have any large stone slabs lying around, or a chisel, or even the necessary skills needed to avoid self-inflicted blunt force head trauma as I attempt to hammer out a message, I use a type and print method. I open a blank Word document, type whatever I want to say, and print it out. That method of communication is handy but becoming used less as I have been able to send a text message. Which is the subject of the next method. I am able to do a lot of what I need through the use of my phone. I already mentioned that I can text, but what is really helpful is that I can speak my messages, which I do almost all of the time. I have found this method of talking into my phone very useful for creating lists as well, from grocery lists to simply things I would like to accomplish or remember, throughout the day.

The last method I want to mention is one that I had written a blog about several months ago, but one that bares repeating. The blog was titled, Enter The Dragon...So To Speak, and was about my first experiences and impressions of the voice recognition software, Dragon. I find it to be a very useful tool, and when I use it to write a blog, one that cuts my writing time by more than half.

Through practicing the various methods of writing that I have outlined in this, and the previous blog, I have been able to eliminate a significant portion of the need to write. Certainly not all, and I still face the empty roll now and again. I just do the best I can, and let the rest worry about itself.