Since the beginning of time, (I'm talking about my time here), I have found myself in many, many awkward, humorous, and/or difficult situations. At this point, I honestly can't say if having Ataxia makes a big difference in an already accident-prone life, except to point out the enhancing powers of a physically challenging disability. It indeed has certainly made a lot of things hard or impossible. But I have to wonder if some of the things that have happened to me since my diagnosis eleven years ago would have occurred regardless of the presence of Ataxia. I will share with you stories from before and after and let you decide. I will start with 2 stories from before my diagnosis. There are many more, but these 2 stories do the best, to sum up how things usually went.
Both stories happened in 1991 when Melissa and I lived in Virginia. Neither story has been embellished in any way, and even though they are not flattering by any stretch of the word, they are sadly all too true. Melissa was going back to school, and I worked as a cook at the college that she was attending. We lived about a half a mile away from the campus, so I would always walk or ride my bike. One morning I got ready for work like usual and began to walk. Right away it was alarmingly apparent to me that something was very wrong. But what? I didn't know and wasn't quite able to figure it out. That is until after I hobbled along for about five minutes and realized that one of my legs had alarmingly become about a half an inch shorter than the other, resulting in a severe limp. Had I suddenly developed some kind of terrible new condition? Was I now always going to limp? If I was determined and kept going could I walk it off? But after another five minutes, the condition had not improved or corrected itself. I thought," This is getting ridiculous!", so I looked carefully at both legs to see if I could determine the root of the problem. That is the moment that I made the discovery that I had put on two different black work shoes. One had a thick rubber sole that was designed to be slip resistant, and the other shoe was flatter and more lightweight. I wobbled back home, embarrassed to be sure, but also relieved in the knowledge that a solution to my problem was only ten minutes away.
Not long after the wobble incident I had again gotten ready for work and was doing a little reading before I needed to leave. Melissa had already gone, and the small apartment was quiet. All of the sudden, seemingly out of nowhere, I heard a deep but very soft gurgling or rumbling sound. I put my book down and really listened. Would I be able to hear it again? A few moments went by and then, there it was again! I began a slow and methodical search through the apartment to find the source. I would pause every few moments and would hear the strange but elusive noise again. The problem was that wherever I went, the mysterious sound seemed to be very close but I just could not pin down its exact location. About that time I noticed a second anomaly, which seemingly accompanied the soft rumbling. It was a slight vibration, one that I could feel in the pit of my stomach. I put my hand on my side and moments later was able to identify the source. Yes, it was me, I was the source of the elusive gurgling and vibration. My stomach was growling, and I had just spent fifteen Minutes in search of myself.
Now I will share two stories from recent struggles......
As I have shared before, part of my self-prescribed therapy is to go on long walks. The day I mention here was a beautiful sunny and warm summer day. It was early afternoon, and I was about two or three miles into my walk and had just turned around to head home. I was listening to music and not really paying anything much attention when suddenly there was an enormous dark shadow spotted out of the corner of my eye just to my right. I jumped and did what has come to be affectionately known as the Ataxia Shuffle. There was, of course, nothing there because I had seen my own shadow. The only logical thing to do now was to look around and see if I had been watched. Thankfully I was walking at that moment in a back parking lot that was mostly deserted, and I think I got away clean.
Like a lot of people, I have a need for a number of keys, and the result is a pretty substantial key ring. Well, the other day I was walking across the street to my car after checking my mail and dropped my keys when I retrieved them from my pants pocket. I bent over and picked them up, but before I could stand up straight, I dropped them again. This time my reflexes responded before my brain did and I tried to scoop them up before they hit the ground a second time. I was successful. However, I did not close my hand, (the last, but crucial step to actually catching something), and managed to throw them instead up and into my face and right eye. I quickly recovered and looked around for witnesses, as this time I was not in a vacant back parking lot but right in the middle of the street, in front of the town post office.
What about you? I would love to hear from my readers. Did you become prone to more accidents after your diagnosis? Leave me a comment and let me know. If this does not pertain to you, I would still love to hear from you!
