Over the last several years I have noticed some changes to my physical reality. Oh sure, it would be easy to blame my Ataxia for the discrepancies, but instead I have developed and chosen to use some alternative theories to explain these differences. I just can't let my handicap take ALL the credit, or have ALL the fun. So, here are just a few of the more than plausible substitute explanations that I have come up with to explain these varying occurrences.
I'm really not sure how this keeps happening, but my working theory is that something, or somebody, is adding minute amounts of weight to my shoes every night. I have been noticing over the course of the last year or so that it is becoming more and more difficult to lift my feet when walking, and this causes a shuffling, which brings about a falling. If only my balance were slightly better I could simply strap full sheets of plywood to the bottoms of my shoes and cross country ski my way through life. And whoever is multiplying the weight of my shoes is also very skilled, masterful even. Upon a very critical and close inspection, I have not been able to detect any tampering or structural changes to my footwear. It remains a great mystery to me how this is being done, like I said earlier, but the physical evidence of my stumbling could only, it seems to me, be logically explained by this hypothesis.....that someone is adding weight to my shoes.
I also have a strong inkling, or suspicion, that one out of every thirty million or so beverage containers manufactured worldwide with a screw-top lid is defective, or otherwise crooked, is shipped that way, and sold at the grocery store where I buy my groceries. My current theory is that somehow I always seem to be the one to purchase these flawed containers. I really don't see any other plausible conclusion. How else would you explain that the lids that I always wind up with never seem to go on right. Actually, I am the only one who struggles, as they seem to function just fine for every other member of my household, and I am still working on coming up with solid reasoning for this little detail.
Don't get me started on the subject of clothing. I mean, I can distinctly remember a time a few years back when I could put my pants on from a standing position. I know you think that I am probably making this up, but I give you my word that this is true. I would balance on one leg while inserting the other, and then I would reverse the process and put the other leg in. Again IT WAS ALL ACCOMPLISHED WHILE STANDING. Nowadays I have to sit to put my pants on, and I used to think it was just me. The lack of balance needed to pull off the standing pant maneuver used to really bother me. That is until I came up with the alternate theory that the material used to make the pants is no longer the same as it used to be. It is now some kind of weird-hybrid cotton/denim/polyester blend. I am really not sure how I could state this to make it any clearer. The pants are to blame, not me, OR my brain.
I have also noticed that I have begun to have a little more difficulty when swallowing. Both food and liquids will cause me to choke. Mostly it is fluids, and you are probably assuming that I may have a theory as to why. Actually yes, yes I do, and do you want to know what is is? It's basically because all of our food nowadays is grown, or made, to expand in your mouth and throat through the careful injection of air. This is actually kind of clever, and in the wake of a possible food shortage will allow us to successfully double the food supply, by cutting in half the food amount needed to fill a person up. It's clever, but I don't like it... I don't like it because it is making me choke.
Now you know what kind of things I struggle with, and am up against. In spite of all of these though, I will continue to enjoy every minute, and all of my family and friends. I strive to lead as normal of a life as possible, and am including a few of my recent snapshots to prove this theory:-).
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| Standing by a Japanese buoy that washed up on the Oregon Beach. |
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| Making Clam Chowder while on vacation at the Oregon Beach. |
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| Walking through a display of Christmas lights with my daughter Jessica. |
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