With Ataxia, there exists nothing that will knock me off my feet quicker than an ill-timed wrenching cough.....which is better know as the dreaded kamikaze-cough. The diabolical little enemy will swoop in silently, in an attempt to try and catch me totally unaware. If I am not able to reach out and grasp something solid to anchor myself to in about a nano-second, then all is lost. The surprise coughing raid was a success, and as the coughing spree flees the battlefield and the latest devastation that it has reeked upon me, I am left crumpled on the ground in a burning heap. Sometimes, during a severe cold, the ruthless little enemy will circle around and hit me again with another round of racking coughs before I have even had time to assess the damage done from the first wave. Talk about taking advantage of a situation and hitting a man when he is already down...
The common cold doesn't just limit itself to only one weapon, though. It will also use the sneeze, often with excessive frequency, trying to knock me down and keep me off my feet. Although another favored attack in the cold war, the sneeze-maneuver is considered to be slightly less efficient in the realm of sneak attacks because it will pre-announce its impending arrival. Often the warning will be only half a second, but almost always, this advance notice will provide me with just enough time to batten down the hatches. Of course, the sneeze makes up for the slight shortfall in sneakiness, with its sheer ferocity, and the multiple attacks of its delivery.
Being rather unstable on my feet anyway (thanks, Ataxia)... what I would find to be helpful in these situations would be a backpack that held a heavy metal anchor...one that could be instantly released onto the ground via a door on the bottom of the pack. The weight would be attached to a thick steel chain (the chain would also be very rusty...therefore making it more realistic). This system might actually serve a dual purpose...the extra bulk may help my balance, and it would also allow me to "drop anchor" at any time, thereby stabilizing myself, and significantly reducing the damage done by coughing or sneezing attacks.
As if being constantly vigilant for sneak attacks by coughing, and frequent sneezing wasn't enough, the cold war comes with some other goodies....like the ever popular nasal congestion. The endless need to blow my nose is bad enough, but the continual necessity to be seated, or to hold on to something first, is really putting a limit on what I can do. It has been said before that some people find it challenging to walk and chew gum at the same time. Well...I am hard pressed to be able to blow my nose and walk at the same time! Between waves of coughing, sneezing, and frequent nose blowing.....I spend most of my time in my recliner.
For someone who already slurs his words (I find it continually challenging to portray my deep sense of overwhelming debt to Ataxia)...I find the cold to bring with it a further impediment to clear and precise speech. Because of the congestion, my cursive speech will now have noticeably more of a dramatic flair to all the loops, swirls, and overall general flow (refer to the last blog for a definition of cursive speech).
The cold will soon have run its course though, and I will once again be free from the germ warfare of the cold war for a while....that is, until next winter's campaign.
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