Success rate?

Here is a link to the audio version of this blog, in case you would prefer to listen to it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EvWQ9ELwKks

     As every homeowner knows, ownership comes with repairs, (if you are a new owner and don't know this yet, I would guess that it will dawn on you the first time you smash your finger with a hammer, stab yourself with a screwdriver, and/or fall off a ladder). Yes, home repairs are a fact of life and can be quite frustrating for someone less, uh, inclined. Stir in a whole lot of Ataxia, and it can be, and usually is, more than just frustrating, it can cause a person (me) to question their sanity and think that, besides not having immediate access to a bathroom, living in a car might be easier. I have often found myself in a tight spot and been very thankful that no one has chosen that exact moment to film me and post it on the web as a how-to video on home repair. Yes, in the past I have demonstrated that I am one who enjoys a good laugh at his own expense, I would, however, fail to see the humor of it being put on the web. If anything is going to be posted for public consumption, it will be done on purpose and not while I am struggling with a Fisher Price Tool Set.

     Sometimes, however, I do have success. Of course, I may have to hold the nail in place with a needle nose pliers so as to avoid giving myself a deftly-applied manicure with a hammer, (actually my hammering is best described as gentle tapping, like if I was using a jeweler's tool and trying to remove a minute imperfection from a brittle piece of glass). And if I get an early start,  (seven am.), I can usually have one nail, ( two if it's a good day ), in by suppertime. I know this is very impressive but before you send me a correspondence suggesting that I should write a Do-It-Yourself Home Repair Guide you should know where my success rate or skill level lies. It is somewhere between, "Oh heck that's good enough," and, "I think I better call a contractor, and then probably a doctor."

     Over the years I have gained some experience, the kind of inner knowledge or intuition that makes it possible for me to assess a potential problem or area of repair instantly. To just know in a split second that either I should be reaching for my tool box or the phone so I can call in back-up. At this point, I also need to mention that, if I do decide to tackle a project myself, then the identification and administration of the right tool is useful for any kind of success. I am very proud of the fact that it only took two separate occasions to figure out that a sledgehammer is not the proper tool for driving finish nails and the pointy end of a shovel does not make a suitable screwdriver.

     Lest you think I'm utterly hopeless, though,  I have managed to stop a few water leaks by tightening joints that have come loose and reattached loose hinges on cabinet doors.  I even built a house once, (but that was in a dream and involved Legos, so that won't be going into the How-To Book).

     And then there's always Duct Tape, which has rescued me several times and that I have gotten to know quite well. You can't spend the kind of time I have with something without getting to know it in depth. But even though I have this close relationship, I wouldn't say that Duct Tape is a good friend. Oh sure, it's gotten me out of a few tight places. An excellent friend, however, is someone who not only encourages or inspires you to be the best you can be but also lets you know when you are acting like a knucklehead and that what your thinking is flawed, that it will not work, or is straight up...without question...simply a bad idea.You will never receive this kind of useful feedback with Duct Tape. It never speaks up, but instead goes along happily with whatever hair-brained scheme, repair, or use you can come up with. It doesn't warn you that it isn't going to stick to that gaping hole in the garden hose for more than two to three minutes because once it gets wet, it's really just done for the day. It doesn't speak up and tell you that you should probably just break down and buy a new vacuum instead of applying yet another layer of tape to the hose, which used to be black but now is gray from all the previous professional patch jobs. However, it now comes in different colors and patterns, so you should feel free to go right ahead and personalize that waffle iron, toilet seat, broken front window, or weather strip around your front door.

     Something will always break or be in need of repair, and home repairs will never cease. The only variable that will continue to change is my creativity to how I approach the problem. To be completely serious, I become the most frustrated with myself when my head tells me it should be no problem, but all the other players involved just chuckle. You know, like when you ask a thirteen-year-old if they would please like to clean their room and they just give you that look, the one that says, "Uh, yeah, get real."  That's how my body responds when the head says things like, " Oh no, it won't be a problem to nail that back together," or, " Just let me grab my toolbox, and I'll have that Furniture/desk/lawn chair put together, no problem."

But, like everything else in my life that changed when I was first diagnosed with an SCA, home repair is an area where I continue to do what I can and am learning to let go of what I can't. I just continue to laugh, keep an ample supply of band-aids on hand, and make sure I have the phone number of a good repairman on speed dial.