Conversations.

Here is a link to the audio version of this blog, if you would rather listen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8HQvagoXbQg

As of late, I've found myself embroiled in a war and have become a mediator of sorts between two factions. And the thing is, these two sides used to be friends and worked well and quite efficiently together. They were put together as a team long ago, (forty-nine years to be exact), and were always friends. I don't know when precisely the breakdown in communication happened, although I suspect that little things happened right from day one, but over the last several years it seems to be intensifying. I have sat down with both sides and had serious talks, and you wouldn't believe the accusations, name-calling, and general mud-slinging that goes on, (I won't repeat it as this article is rated family-friendly).

But, before I go any further, I will identify for you the two parties being referred to here in case you haven't seen it coming. On one side is my brain, which is very slowly, and with great difficulty and frustration, coming to terms with the limitations of, and continues to put unrealistic expectations on, the second party. The second party being, of course, every other part of my body.

One of the problems I am facing right now is that the brain is responding to situations instantly and sending signals that it expects to be obeyed without pause, time for reflection, or regard to reason. For example, I'm sitting and relaxing in a recliner or at the dinner table with family, and someone knocks on our back door. The brain quickly responds and sends out a priority message to the leg muscles, who themselves were on a lunch break, to go and check it out. The leg muscles respond the best they can, but there is usually a lot of jerking, bouncing, crashing, and sometimes pain involved. The brain then complains through an internal memo that it did its job and was embarrassed by the poor performance of everyone else involved. You would think that the brain would have a full understanding by now but some reflexes are hard to overcome, and I am in constant negotiations to get these two to work together again and find a middle ground.

But, before you get the impression that it is all the brain's fault, let me say that the other players in this conflict are just as culpable. Once in a while, various muscle groups will act like they have a mind of their own, (yes, I know this is not an accurate statement, but for the sake of this example I'm going to ask you to go with it). Even though there are urgent danger signals being sent out from the brain, (that sound like a squadron of British police cars), warning the legs to not go there, attempt that, or to lift that, these things tend to continue to happen anyway, usually in a proportionately, devastatingly ugly way. The gloating by the said brain that goes on afterward is not helpful.

Sometimes after one of these incidences the brain will go into a form of incredibly mature pouting because it was not listened to and will refuse to help when a request is sent by another member of the body. Let's say I'm engaged in one of those high-stakes games of Twister, (read the blog, titled Oh, The Games We Play), and the legs are so tied up that they need some help. A request is sent from the leg muscles to the brain, but all that is sent back is the complete lyrics to Gimme Three Steps by Lynyrd Skynyrd. Knowing this may be fun and a useful thing to know if  I am engaged in a little karaoke, but which is not at all helpful when in the midst of a heated game of Twister.

It can be very tiring, and things can get a little immature with all the pouting and non-cooperation going on. The other muscles can be just as bad, and when they pout, they usually do something that has the brain kicking, screaming, and digging divots in the floor as it is drug into the dark and it desperately tries to maintain it's grip on a situation that is quickly spiraling out of control.

I'm happy to report, however, that the two sides are learning to work together and every day I get them closer to a resolution. The occurrence of unreasonable demands and random bouts of pouting are becoming fewer. Little skirmishes do occasionally still pop up at the most inopportune times, ( when is it EVER, really?), but it is a bit more of a manageable situation. There will always be issues, like the wild twitching of the arms and legs, or the unprovoked leg cramps in the middle of the night. Sigh, thanks to Ataxia it will always be something. The bright side? I am beginning to see movement from both parties towards mutual understanding and peace.

To My Readers-
I have a feature on the right side of my blog that will allow you to enter your email if you would like to receive weekly notifications when I post a new blog. Just enter your address in the box that says submit and then follow the short steps given. An email will be sent to you to confirm your activation. Confirm the email and you are signed up.
Thank you all, my friends! Jason