A Bond Fantasy Meets An Ataxian Reality

here is a link to the audio version, in case you would rather listen to this blog: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fC7DbK3NniE

Lately, I have been impressing myself with my high levels of physical skill, grace, and fortitude. Of course, all of it has been in my mind, but still, they quite honestly have been amazing. However, when I compare these to what I actually can do, THAT is where the frustration lies. Through the vision of fantasy I approach a problem as confidently as James Bond, but through the haze of reality I fumble and flap around like PeeWee Herman. This fantasy-vision/hazy-reality thing is a lot like the old Wide World Of Sports line, "The thrill of victory and the agony of defeat."  On a perfect day, I feel like a goldfish that's jumped out of its bowl and is helplessly floundering and twitching,(not twerking.....twitching)! But, I've come to believe that I must always look at the bright side.....so I think," Hey, I was able to jump"!

A recent example of the whole fantasy-vision slash hazy-reality thing comes from just several days ago. In our living room, we have a ceiling fan that has four glass-encased lights hanging down. I can reach the lights easily and usually can change the bulbs without too much difficulty. On this particular time, however, I saw that one of the bulbs had broken away from the base, which meant that the end was still in the light socket. Well, like I said, I can reach the bulbs to unscrew them, but the light fixture is a little too high for me to work on the base of the socket. I was going to have to use my needle nose pliers to try and twist the metal base out of the light socket, but I was also going to need a higher vantage point. Enter James Bond. I went into motion,(Okay, so maybe it was slow-motion), and I knew that since the step ladder was not going to work for me, apparently I would have to come up with a viable alternative. That's when I got the idea to use our bench. It was perfect, and the plan began to take shape in that realm of my fantasy Bond-like thinking. I would simply place a chair on either side of the bench, giving me a handhold for stepping up on the bench and providing stability while I worked. In my bond-like state it seemed like a good plan, but as soon as I stepped up onto the bench, PeeWee made his entrance. I couldn't even stand up straight, and my legs started shaking so badly that it quickly became very apparent, (yes, even to Bond), that this was not a good plan. I put everything away and then tried it from a standing position, but that too was just not going to work, (I now get dizzy looking up or trying to do things above my head). Luckily, our youngest daughter is more than happy to help me with these little projects and was able to easily unscrew and remove the metal base from the light socket.

As I stated earlier, this is where the frustration lies. I'm still coming to grips with the idea that, although I want to take care of everything myself, reality quickly comes crashing in and I have to admit that I can't. The thrill of victory and the agony of defeat. Sigh.